


Call Meap Maybe

by Eisoj5



Category: Lilo & Stitch (2002), Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Gen, Multiple Crossovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21844252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eisoj5/pseuds/Eisoj5
Summary: As far as alien spaceships go, the one that crashes into Nani and Lilo's front yard a few days after Lilo’s 9th birthday is pretty average.
Relationships: David Kawena/Nani Pelekai, Jumba Jookiba/Wendy Pleakley (implied), Lilo Pelekai & Nani Pelekai, Lilo Pelekai & Stitch | Experiment 626, Other Crossover Ships To Be Tagged Later
Comments: 32
Kudos: 88
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Call Meap Maybe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aegistheia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegistheia/gifts).



> Happy Holidays!

As far as alien spaceships go, the one that crashes into Nani and Lilo's front yard a few days after Lilo’s 9th birthday is pretty average. It doesn’t scream “evil genius ruining the environment with his pollution-spewing private jet” the way Jumba’s ship did, or “Stitch is having a midlife crisis which makes no sense because he doesn’t age but that sure is a little red convertible” and it doesn’t look as wildly out of place on Earth as the Grand Councilwoman’s ship, or Gantu’s ship, or Dr. Hamsterviel’s—

Anyway, gathering up the mail she dropped when the ship crashed practically at her feet, Nani thinks it's sort of messed up that she's got all these points of comparison for this new ship. Which looks like a car, even crumpled into a crater in the ground and with the bubble windshield and the rocket boost jets and the Hot Wheels-esque flame decals on the sides. But it's definitely a spaceship, and the pink and white creature that climbs out of it is definitely an alien, and so Nani turns to shout up to the house that they've got company, probably a really late latecomer to Lilo’s birthday party—

—and the alien says, “Meap.” 

Nani looks down at them again, taking in their size and shape. “You must be one of Stitch’s ohana, huh.” They’re pretty calm compared to most of Jumba’s experiments; usually by now they would’ve bounced off or tried to zap the mailbox with their tail or something. “Well, aloha, and come on up to the house if you’re not going to destroy anything, and we’ll help you find where you belong.” 

“Meap,” they say, obligingly, and trot after Nani. 

“Lilo, Stitch, another experiment activated and crashed a spaceship into the yard,” Nani calls. 

Lilo yells down from her bedroom, “Another experiment? We’re coming!” 

Pleakley peers cautiously around the corner. “Ooh, it’s so cute! Jumba, you big softie, you made another cute one like Mr. Stenchy?”

“Meap,” the alien says. 

“ _Aww,”_ Pleakley says. 

“Yeah, yeah, they’re all adorable,” Nani says, sorting the bills and junk mail before tossing the lot on the kitchen table. The envelopes jump up and down as Jumba barges his way into the living room. “What’s this one do? Is it a gremlin like in that old _Twilight Zone_ episode? ‘There’s something on the wing!’ _”_

“What is this Zone of Twilight?”

“You know, the TV show, ‘cause there’s a thing on the plane, and this one crashed a ship—never mind.” Nani shakes her head. 

Jumba eyes the alien curiously. “Is not one of _mine,_ ” he says. “Is not creature from any known planet in this galaxy, either.” 

“And you would know, because—?”

Jumba grins at Pleakley. “Because I am evil genius who studied _all_ living creatures in the galaxy to design my dastardly experiments.” 

“How could I forget,” Pleakley mutters. 

“ _Okay,_ ” Nani says, as Lilo bounces out of the elevator, Stitch on her heels. “So what are they, and where did they come from?”

“Meap,” the alien says. 

“It’s so cute!” Lilo exclaims. 

Stitch skitters around them, sniffing curiously. “Kanja ooga,” he pronounces, with authority. 

“I already said is not one of mine, therefore also is not one of your cousins,” Jumba says. 

The alien says, “Meap,” and produces a photo, which they hold up for Nani. It’s a photo of two haole boys in a backyard, probably on the mainland, if the tree they’re sitting under is any indication. 

“Oh, you’re looking for your friends? You’re gonna want to head at _least_ two thousand miles that way.” Nani points east. “I’m sure Jumba and Stitch can help you get your ship fixed up.” 

“Wait, Nani, look—there’s a platypus,” Lilo says, ducking under Nani’s arm to point out the little teal animal lying in the grass at the boys’ feet. Nani hadn’t noticed, but then, it’s a platypus, and they don’t do much. “Maybe they’re from _Australia._ That's _five thousand_ miles away. _”_

“Meap,” the alien says, shaking their head. They look around, and pull one of the pieces of junk mail off the kitchen table. 

They point at Nani’s family, and then at one side of the paper— “Meap—” then themselves, and the other side of the paper. “Meap.” 

“Uh,” Nani says.

“Meap.” The alien folds the paper in half. They grab a colored pencil from the scattered assortment on the floor, which-—

“I’ll clean them up,” Lilo says, quickly, before Nani can work up a good death glare. 

—and then the alien pokes the colored pencil through the paper so it connects the two sides, and looks up at Nani hopefully. “Meap.”

“Yes, I see,” Jumba says. “Little friend came from another dimension, through wormhole in space-time.” 

“You got all that from ‘Meap’ and a colored pencil?” 

“Is classic explanation,” Jumba says, with a shrug. Stitch concurs, and then he takes the paper from the alien and does something with his claws to turn it into a Mobius strip, which Lilo is promptly fascinated by. 

“Sure,” Nani says. 

Jumba scratches his head with a big purple paw and looks sheepish. “This may be my fault. I _may_ have created device to knock proverbial holes in wall of reality and unwittingly transported new alien here.” 

“Have you been opening portals to other dimensions _in our bedroom?”_ Pleakley shrieks. Nani’s eyes widen, and he adds, “In—in _Nani’s house?”_

“Traditional evil genius plot in spare time, could not be helped,” Jumba mutters. 

“Well, can you open another portal and send them back where they belong?” 

“Ah, no,” Jumba says. “Dimensional travel is one way only. Think of it like flush toilet. Little pink hat alien friend gets sucked into our dimension because of—of _perfectly_ designed device, and now must travel the long way around through many dimensions to go back to friends in—where did you say— _Australia._ Will take several days.”

“Meap,” the alien says. 

Nani knows without even looking, that Lilo is suddenly standing very straight instead of fidgeting, has corralled Stitch to sit politely by her side, his blue stub tail wagging, and that both of them are gazing at her with the _hugest_ puppy-dog eyes imaginable. “You want to go visit these other dimensions after Jumba and Stitch fix up the spaceship, don’t you.” 

“ _Pleeeease,”_ Lilo says. “You can say it’s my birthday present!”

“I just got you—” 

“A new dress and a book on all the ways tourists die visiting the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone and all the National Parks. And I _love_ the book, but—and _you_ could come too, Nani, it could be like a vacation!”

Nani sighs. “I can’t, Lilo, you know that, I have work, _plus_ a city council meeting coming up and I need to research, we’re voting on some very important zoning—”

“ _I’m_ zoning.” Lilo rolls her eyes. “Zoning _out_.” 

“Ooh, clever _and_ funny,” Nani says, dryly. She looks over at Jumba and Pleakley, and then down at the pink and white alien, who is being very patient, as if this sort of thing has happened to them before. They’re not even investigating the contents of the fridge or cupboards. “Okay, yeah, you can go.”

“Yay!” Lilo launches herself at Nani for a hug. “I’ll bring you back all kinds of parallel universe stickers for your surfboard,” she says into Nani’s shirt. She’s gotten tall, lately. “If other dimensions even _have_ stickers.” 

“But you have to promise,” Nani starts. 

“House rules still apply even in other dimensions, I know, I know,” Lilo says. 

“Hold on a second there,” Pleakley says. “Are you assuming Jumba and I are going to set aside our _busy_ schedules to chaperone Lilo and Stitch and this—this interdimensional traveler back to _Australia?_ ”

Nani looks at him. 

“All right, fine, but now I need to pack,” Pleakley says, and scurries off to their bedroom.

The ship doesn’t take very long to repair—one benefit of having an evil genius living under her roof—and before Nani knows it, Lilo’s called shotgun and is happily buckling her seatbelt in the front seat while Jumba grumbles about squeezing into the back with the other aliens and his dimensional portal device. 

“Meap,” the alien says to Nani, and reaches over the door to retrieve something from the glove box. It’s—a bushy dark brown mustache in a really outdated style, and of all the weird things that Nani’s seen and experienced in the past few years, it still throws her for a loop when the alien _puts on_ the mustache and says, in a rich Midwestern baritone, “Thank you for your assistance, Nani.”

“Ho ho, a Universal Mustache Translator!” Jumba crows, thumping the little alien on the back. “I was thinking of creating one for myself, but turns out my ginormous brain can comprehend _many_ languages, so, unnecessary.”

The alien says, “As an Intergalactic Security Agent in my own dimension, I promise that your family will be safe with me on our journey through time and space.” They stick out their little paw. 

Nani shakes it. “I, uh, appreciate that.” 

“Don’t worry, Nani, I’ll call you every day, when Jumba’s interdimensional alarm clock says it’s almost bedtime here,” Lilo says. She holds up a flip phone matching Nani’s own, tricked out by Jumba with a video camera and custom Elvis ringtones. 

Jumba says, “Enjoy quiet house!” 

The alien climbs into their ship and looks up at Nani. “Good luck with your city council meeting. The importance of local politics cannot be overstated.”

“Thanks,” Nani says, oddly touched by their earnestness, even as Stitch giggles a little evilly in the back seat; his ideas about civic engagement still lean towards unscheduled demolitions and tying up ribbon-cutting ceremonies. “Have a good trip.” 

There’s a familiar kind of energy beam noise, and a portal shimmers open in front of the spaceship as it lifts off of the ground. “Bye, Nani! See you next week!” Lilo bounces in her seat and waves until the bubble windshield closes, and then the ship flies through the portal and vanishes. 

“Right,” Nani says to herself. “Quiet house.” She flips open her phone and calls David. “Hey. I’m free for dinner tonight after all.”

*

The call comes right at Lilo’s usual bedtime that first night after she and all the aliens have left. Nani’s curled up on the couch with David rubbing her feet while she reads and rereads paragraphs and subsections of municipal code, when her phone rings and vibrates off the coffee table, startling them both. 

“That’s Lilo,” Nani says. “I’ll just be a minute.”

“No worries,” David says, holding onto her by her ankle as she lunges halfway off the couch to answer the phone.

It opens up into a projected video of Lilo sitting in a boat, surrounded by open water. Stitch is partially visible behind her, facing off with—a chicken?

“Nani! Hi, David!” Lilo waves. 

“Lilo, is everything okay? Where are Jumba and Pleakley? The spaceship?”

“They’re back on the island,” Lilo says. “Pleakley wanted to learn how our ancestors wove clothes from bark and leaves, and Meap—that’s his name, we found out after he put the mustache on—is making rainbows. With his mouth.”

Nani chooses to ignore that last part. “Our ancestors?” 

“We traveled in dimensional space _and_ time,” Lilo says. “ _Way_ back in time. This is Moana.” She swings the camera around to show Nani a teenage girl dressed in tapa cloth, who’s deftly handling the sail. “She met Maui!” Though Moana’s clearly perplexed by Lilo’s technology, she gamely waves to Nani. 

“ _What?”_

“I’d say we worked together,” Moana puts in, brightly. 

“So in your parallel universe, the gods from the ancient stories are real?” David asks, leaning over Nani’s shoulder.

Moana smiles and shrugs. “In your parallel universe, you have—um—aliens?”

“Yep,” Lilo says, popping the ‘p.’ “Oh, a big wave is coming, and I gotta make sure Stitch’s holding onto something, just in case I mess up again. Bye, Nani! I’ll call you tomorrow!”

“Bye—wait, if you mess up—?” Nani repeats, but Lilo’s disconnected already. “Huh.” She looks down at the string of unfamiliar symbols in her phone’s recent calls list; there’s definitely no chance she’ll be able to call back. “It feels kinda like I sent Lilo on a field trip. Or sleepaway camp.”

“She _is_ making new friends,” David says. “Was Stitch going to eat that chicken?”

“Eh, she probably told him not to, or she’s pulling feathers out of his mouth right now and apologizing to Moana.” Nani slouches down into the worn couch cushions and picks up her papers. “Do you want to go sailing tomorrow?”

“Sure,” David says. “You want me to keep rubbing your feet?”

“Mmm. Yes, please.”

*

Lilo calls from a dark and fairly creepy forest the next evening, while Nani is eating leftovers in front of the TV. “We have to be very, very quiet,” she whispers. “We’re hunting Bigfoot.”

“I see,” Nani whispers back. “Who’s we?”

“Dipper and Mabel. They’re twins, but I don’t think they’re _evil._ ” A twig out of frame snaps, and Lilo hisses, “ _Stitch!”_

“Sorry.”

Lilo brings the phone close to her face, almost as if she’s in the _Blair Witch Project_ , which Nani knows Lilo hasn’t seen, or else the little stick figures would’ve shown up to menace Mertle Edmonds’ house by now. “Dipper said Jumba and Pleakley and Meap shouldn’t come out because he didn’t know what their uncle would do if he found out about aliens being real.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Nani agrees. “You’re having a good time?”

“Yeah!” Another snapping sound comes through their connection loud and clear, much louder than the twig Stitch had stepped on, and Lilo gasps. “I think that’s _him,_ Nani!”

“Well, you better go catch him,” Nani says, amused. “Don’t get stepped on. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

*

In the dimension after that, Pleakley gets turned into a llama. 

*

For all that Nani is a little jealous that Lilo got to meet people who are their parallel universe ancestors, she’s actually _more_ jealous when Lilo calls from a beautiful restaurant, her mouth—and Stitch’s mouth—smeared with powdered sugar from the fluffy golden beignets they’re eating. 

“The food’s _amazing_ here, Nani, Tiana runs her _own_ restaurant with a real live jazz band, _and_ the bandleader is an alligator, but Jumba says he’s really an alligator and not a human turned into one, so we should watch out for his teeth, but Stitch is too strong to get eaten and people would probably pay good money to see him wrestle an alligator—” 

“Lilo, how much beignets and coffee have you had?”

Meap pokes his head into the video; he’s still wearing the mustache translator. “I must apologize—Jumba, Pleakley, and I were learning to do the Charleston, and not keeping an eye on how much sugar and caffeine your sister and her companion were consuming at this late hour.”

“Uh- _huh,”_ Nani says. “Well, at least it isn’t a school night.”

*

The less Nani thinks about the dimension with the bunny farm, the better. 

It does make her change her vote on allowing more housing for land zoned for agriculture, though. 

*

By the end of the week, Nani’s in need of another foot rub after several long shifts, and even though it’s been peaceful and pleasant to have the house to herself—and David—she misses Lilo and the rest of her strange little ohana. 

“Is this what it’s gonna be like when she goes to college?” she wonders aloud. David looks up from her toes, his mouth curving in a laugh. “Not the interdimensional adventures part, unless they give extra credit for that kind of thing. The part where I only get to see her for a couple minutes on the phone before she runs off again.”

“Maybe,” David says, thoughtfully. “But she _is_ calling every day, ae? Telling you what she was up to?” 

“If _I_ had gone to college, we might have ended up like this too, except I’d be looking in my shorts for quarters for the pay phone instead of using this fancy thing.” She hefts the flip phone in the palm of her hand. “And this way at least I get to see what lolo stuff she’s doing. She left the camera running when they flew through a bunch of dimensions really fast because this giant floating baby head was chasing them—” 

“Eww.” David shudders. 

“I kept yelling for her to stop filming and do something to help, but I don’t think she could hear me over the baby crying,” Nani says. 

“Freaky.”

_“Yeah.”_

“So—they should have made it around by now, right?” David asks, after they’ve both contemplated the horror for another moment. 

“I think so?” Nani says, just as her phone rings. “Or maybe not.” She flips it open onto—empty darkness. “Lilo?”

“New York City,” Lilo intones, gravely. “The city that never sleeps. High above the bright lights and busy streets, when night falls—” Lilo pulls something aside, a cape maybe, to reveal the skyline—“Gargoyles awaken to menace the city! Swooping upon their unsuspecting prey to suck their blood—”

“Lilo,” a deep, serious voice rumbles from somewhere above her. It isn’t Jumba. “I know Elisa talked to you about this already.” 

“That I should know better than to perpetuate unfounded stereotypes based on appearances, since I showed up in your dimension with a bunch of aliens who don’t look anything like who they really are?”

“Yes.” 

“But wouldn’t it be _cool_ if you _were_ vampire gargoyles and could swoop down on your unsuspecting prey?”

 _“Ih,”_ Stitch says. 

“We already swoop.”

“Oh.”

“Would you like to introduce me to your sister now?”

“Sure!” Lilo swings the camera around to point at herself and a pair of very bare, very muscular, and very purple legs. “Nani, this is Goliath.”

“Um, hello,” Nani says. 

“Greetings, Nani,” Goliath says. He crouches down so the camera takes in his ruggedly handsome face. 

“You shouldn’t flirt with her, she’s dating David,” Lilo says, out of frame.

“Yeah, she’s dating David,” David says. 

“I will not trifle with your sister’s affections,” Goliath says, solemnly, although there’s a distinct twinkle in his eye. “Miss Nani, Lilo has asked if she might go flying with us this evening. Although her aunt and uncle have said it would be all right, as you are her legal guardian and she is, _technically,_ able to contact you, I felt it was appropriate to seek your permission.” 

Nani blinks. “Flying with you?”

“Yes.” Goliath stands, steps back from the camera, and spreads his wings. “It is very safe. I have flown with Elisa many times. She is a police officer here in Manhattan.”

“Sure, I mean, if you’ve _swooped_ with a police officer,” Nani says, and somewhere off-camera someone giggles faintly. “But I want Meap to fly his spaceship close by just in case, okay?”

“Okay!” Lilo says. “And we’re almost done, I promise, tomorrow we’re gonna drop Meap off at his dimension with his friends, and then we’ll come right home after.” 

Nani smiles at her. “Okay. Have fun with your friends.”

“Thanks, Nani!” 

“Thank you, Miss Nani,” Goliath says, gravely. 

“Oh, don’t mention it,” Nani says. She watches for a minute longer as Lilo carefully sets the phone down on the roof, and then Goliath scoops her into his equally muscular arms and leaps into the air as she squeals with excitement. Stitch runs up to the very edge of the roof to wave after them. 

Nani sighs, and hangs up the call. “I probably could’ve gone with them,” she says, a little wistfully. “Found somebody to cover my shift, maybe asked city council to postpone the vote until I got back.” 

David pokes her with his big toe. “Hey, I got a nice pair of legs too, you know,” he says. 

She hits him with a pillow. “It’s not ‘cause of _that.”_

He grins. “I can’t take you flying, but we can do the next best thing? We’ll go surfing, the nicest beach on the island, tomorrow morning before they come back. Our own adventure.”

“Okay,” Nani says, and shifts around on the couch to press their legs together. “I like your legs.”

“And my fancy hair,” David says, tossing his head. 

“And your fancy hair,” Nani concedes. 

“And my butt.” 

Nani rolls her eyes, but kisses him anyway.

*

Lilo arrives home the next afternoon around lunchtime the next day, with the aliens—and a couple _more_ people—in tow. “Nani!” she yells, as she comes through the portal, and barrels straight into her for a hug. “I brought guests, I hope that’s okay, I know I didn’t clean up the colored pencils and our room is messy, but I thought you’d wanna meet some new people from other dimensions.” She waves her hand at the boys stepping through the portal and blinking at everything. “Can we take them to get shave ice? And go surfing?”

“Can I meet them first?” Nani says. 

“Is Meap’s friends coming to visit,” Jumba says. “They want to see my inventions and things Lilo is doing to help experiments find one place they belong.” 

“But won’t they have to go around the long way to get back to their dimension?” Nani asks. 

“Yes, yes we will,” one of the boys says. “But that’s okay, after everything Lilo told us, we’re excited to visit the past again and see some new faces.” He waves. “I’m Phineas, and this is my brother Ferb. Aloha!” 

“Aloha,” Nani says. “Did you bring your platypus?”

“Oh, we figured with the invasive species already causing the islands so many problems, we should leave Perry behind on this trip,” Phineas says. 

Ferb nods. 

“Well, okay then,” Nani says, ignoring the fact that they’re standing around with several _literal_ aliens. “Come on up to the house and Lilo and Stitch can show you around.” 

“Thanks! Ooh, I like the combined architectural styles of your house,” Phineas says. 

Nani half-expects Lilo to bounce ahead of them, babbling about how many times the house has been blown up and rebuilt since Stitch came, but instead she hangs back for a moment, nearly clinging to Nani’s hand, to let Jumba talk to the boys. 

“What is it?” Nani asks. 

Lilo looks up at her. “I missed you a lot,” she says, bluntly. 

Nani squeezes her tight. “I missed you, too. The house was too quiet with just me and David here.”

“Even with all the noise from your _kissing?”_ Lilo screws up her face. 

Nani laughs. “For a second there I almost thought I might’ve gotten a Lilo from another dimension, but nope. Same sister as always.” 

“Maybe I came back _wrong,”_ Lilo says, brightly. 

“Maybe you did, and I’ll only figure it out once you’ve cleaned your room and done all your chores without me asking,” Nani says. 

Lilo lets go of her hand and sticks out her tongue as she turns to run ahead. “Maybe I’m a _vampire gargoyle_ and the _real_ Lilo is turned to stone on top of a skyscraper in New York City—”

“That doesn’t even make sense!” Nani says, and chases after her, laughing. 

*

Behind them, the portal shimmers, and a distant voice shouts, “MOM! Phineas and Ferb did a crossover special in HAWAII!”

*

**Author's Note:**

> Definitely inspired by my recent video calls with my little sister, who is only two years younger than me, but who I don't get to see as much now that we're grown up and living far apart! ALSO inspired by the [InterStitchals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RvvnsziOFQ) trailers from back when Lilo & Stitch came out :D
> 
> Thanks to my beta, as always, for keeping me on track :)


End file.
